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astraystayyh · 2 years ago

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Snow on the beach

Hyunjin x reader. friends to lovers, but they've always known. implied soulmates.

this basically wrote itself nsbdbd as always feedback is highly appreciated <33 (if you can listen to Snow On The Beach by Taylor and Lana, do it!)

The ocean laps softly at your feet, and you watch its ebb and flow intently, admiring how each wave always knows precisely where to go- where to finally rest after a long journey of travels.

This beach is your spot with Hyunjin. Not a secret one by any means, but one that feels yours because of all the memories you've shared here. The ocean has witnessed it all between the two of you.

"I will miss this," you sigh wistfully, and Hyunjin hums from beside you. He's watching the water too, legs tightly hugged to his chest, his cheek resting softly on his knee.

You've grown up with Hyunjin right in front of this ocean. You weren't lovers but you weren't friends either. You were simply a mirror of one another. Every part of him found its reflection in you.

"Me too. Remember when we first came here?" he chuckles softly at the distant memory and you smile to yourself. That was seven years ago.

You are 15, stomping down the beach because you are angry at the world, just like every other teenager. You plop down on the sand and dig your hand into its warm particles. The soothing sensation grounds you and the sound of the waves drowns out your thoughts.

"Hey," someone greets and you look up to find Hyunjin. He's your classmate in high school. You remember him in passing because you once dropped your pen and he picked it up for you without a word.

"Hi," you greet back, shielding your eyes from the harsh sun rays with your hand. Hyunjin moves a bit to the side to block out the sun for you. You notice.

"Mind if I sit with you?" he asks and you shrug, "Sure. But I don't feel like talking."

"Me too. We can sit alone together."

Paradoxal words, but you soon understand what he means by them. He's right next to you, but you're both lost in your own worlds. And yet his presence seems to have a calming effect on you. It feels comforting, to have someone exist with you without asking for anything in return.

"I do remember," you smile, turning back to look at the ocean. Your hand starts to pick up the sand once more, and Hyunjin does the same. Your pinkies brush against each other- it isn't the first time this happened. Touching Hyunjin has become second nature to you.

You are 16, facing the ocean once again. Only this time tears are streaming down your eyes. 'Where are you?' you read in Hyunjin's text and you quickly write back 'Our spot'. He's there ten minutes later. He doesn't ask what's wrong, but his fingers are intertwined with yours and it's enough. It was the first time Hyunjin has grabbed your hand in. You haven't been the same since.

"And now you're leaving me," Hyunjin teases, a glint of amusement shining brightly in his eyes. He knows you'd never leave. Even if you are no longer near him.

"Mm, finally getting a break from you after 7 years," you joke as your fingers curl around his pinky, as his hand gently tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear. You'll always be here.

You're 17, and it's nearly midnight, and yet you and Hyunjin are still talking in front of the ocean- the waves drinking in each bit of your conversation.

It's cold and you shiver slightly from the breeze grazing your exposed arms. Hyunjin notices and opens his jacket wide for you, silently inviting you to seek warmth from him. You bury yourself in his chest, his arms coming around to encircle you.

Your ear settles directedly on top of his heart- the first time you listen to Hyunjin's heartbeat. But it feels familiar, as if it's been ringing within you from the moment you met.

"Can't believe you won't be here for my birthday," he pouts and you giggle, inching closer to him in the process.

You've celebrated your birthday together for the past seven years. You've known all his wishes, since he always shared them with you. He didn't care about the superstition that telling someone your wish prevented it from becoming a reality. He believed that you and he are one, so it was only natural to tell you.

"I'll call you from the other side of the world." You were leaving, not for long, only a year. A work opportunity you couldn't pass on. And yet it felt weird and unnatural to be somewhere where Hyunjin wouldn't be.

You are 18, and as you watch the waves fizzle out as they meet the shore, your head laying on Hyunjin's shoulder, a sudden realization dawns on you.

You are an ocean wave soaring too close to the sky, fueled by emotions too raw, too powerful, to be guarded by your heart alone. But as you near Hyunjin, your waves falter, your steps halt. Your worries, your fears, and your anger are no longer forces to be reckoned with. Instead, they become harmless sea foam. A mere shell of what they once were. To you, Hyunjin is the shore, bringing you out of your darkness, welcoming you home.

"You'll call at my midnight?" he asks, leaning his face closer toward yours. You could clearly see his moles now, the one under his eye, and the one on his cheek. They remind you of the ink of a poet that ended up drying on his face. Everything that made Hyunjin was poetry to you.

"Missing me already?" you grin at him and his eyes soften at you. "I miss you even when you are with me."

You are 19, and Hyunjin is laying his head on your lap, dried tear stains on his face. This isn't the first time you've seen Hyunjin cry. But it is the first he sobbed in your arms. It was an agonizing sight, one that made you realize just how far you care for him. His eyes were now closed, as you gently thread through his hair, your touch seemingly calming him down.

"I think I'm your shore today," you whisper, your voice getting caught up with the wind and the crashing of waves. But Hyunjin catches it. He understands.

"I need to write you a list of reminders, since I won't be here to take care of you," you joke, brushing away his words as if they weren't now imprinted onto your heart.

"If I don't follow them will you come back?"

You are 20, and it's your birthday. You are naturally celebrating it at your spot at the beach. You are laughing loudly at a joke Hyunjin just said when your hand slips from beneath you, and you are suddenly thrown forward, your nose now brushing against his. Hyunjin stares deeply into your eyes, and it makes your heart clench- how unguarded he seems to be with you. So you lean in and place a chaste kiss on the mole adorning his cheek. You've always wanted to do that.

"This is my birthday gift," you giggle and Hyunjin shakes his head, a crimson blush tinting his cheeks.

"I'll always come back to you," you say quietly.

You are 21 and it's snowing at the beach. The first time you've seen it happen in your entire existence. You watch in awe as dainty snowflakes coat the sand- a sight so mesmerizing it renders you speechless for a few moments. But despite the beauty unfolding around you, Hyunjin still only has his eyes on you. You are admiring the snow and he's admiring you.

"And I'll always be here."

You are now twenty-two, and you are saying your goodbyes to your place at the beach with Hyunjin.

It happens naturally, the way Hyunjin finally tells you that he loves you, right where it had all started. This is the first time he's uttered those three words and yet it's as if you've been hearing them for the past seven years.

"I love you," you say back, the confession flowing easily from your mouth because you've both always known.

You've known each time you sat down here, in front of this ocean. Where every past version of yourselves confessed the way they knew best- through stolen glances and subtle touches and comforting words. Where you've slowly grown within ones another's soul, just like the rings of a tree.

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positivelybeastly · 2 months ago

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I wanted to get your thoughts on a topic surrounding Beast that has personally annoyed me. I've never liked how Hank is usually seen as the oldest man in any room he's in by fans. Despite being part of the same original class as Scott, Warren, Jean, and Bobby, Hank is always treated by fans like he's around 60-70 while characters like Scott and Jean are still treated and written like they're in their 20s. I partially blame the Fox movies messing with the generations and ages and having Hank as an older mentor to people he's around the same age as in the comics. I partially blame how Hank became progressively less of a man of action as the comics continued while his peers were continuing to run around doing athletic feats.

But it is disheartening when I see fancasts for movies and Hank is always at least 20-30 years older than the casts for characters like Scott and Jean. One positive about our current clone Hank is that he's unquestionably young again. The Infinity Comics even poked fun at this with Scott saying Hank didn't want to play basketball because he was "Afraid of losing to his elders." But what do you think? Does this bother you as well or do you not think it's a big deal?

So, I completely understand where you're coming with this, and it does bother me a bit, too. I think there's a whole ass confluence of factors that have led to this impression, but you've correctly identified at least a few of them.

The Fox movies. Replete with inaccuracies as they are, it feels almost churlish to rag on them for making Hank notably older than everyone else in his generation because there is just so much wrong with those films, but, as the entry point into the franchise for a whole generation of fans, and having created a whole sub-genre of X-Men fandom that occasionally touches the comics but otherwise stays hermetically sealed, it's created this persistent impression that Hank is Old.

Kelsey Grammer was born in 1955. That made him 34 years older than Shawn Ashmore, 27 years older than Anna Paquin, 18 years older than James Marsden, 13 years older than Hugh Jackman, 11 years older than Halle Berry, 9 years older than Famke Janssen - he's only 15 years younger than Patrick Stewart, and only 16 years younger than Ian McKellen.

That is a huge age gap, and it's not just the actual age gap, either, it's the kind of performance that Grammer gave, which is very much in tune with TAS Beast - he is not a very youthful and exuberant Hank McCoy. He feels older, distinguished, he wears a lot of suits, he's only in one real action scene, and even his costume is less revealing than almost any of his comic costumes.

No, I'm serious, it has an effect!

The version of Hank from the Marvels is played by Grammer 20 years after X3, and yet I think it's undeniable that he looked and felt younger in the movie made way later. Partly it's thanks to the CGI, but I also think the fact that he dresses in a pair of shorts and a lab coat plays into it, too. Young people wear less, old people wear more, generally speaking.

And that's not necessarily a problem, because Grammer's performance is excellent, and there are touches that make it feel right for this version of the character in X3, like the fact that he's notably fit but appears to have gone a little to seed, and the fact that he's straight up in government now. But. A popular performance is a performance that gets remembered, and codified.

Hoult being the only member of the actual O5 in First Class and being carried through those movies as an original X-Man, with characters like Scott and Jean being introduced in Apocalypse as very, very young teens, only exacerbated the problem, on top of being a version of the character that doesn't have much resemblance to Hank McCoy anyway.

There's a whole subsection of the X-Men fandom that only really interacts with the series through those movies and writes about those movies - check AO3 sometime, and see how much is still being produced for the XMCU fandom, even though the main series is over and has been for years at this point. For them, Hank is only ever one way - Old. And even when he wasn't old, he was stodgy.

Which leads us to the next problem - the fact that Hank, often, will act much older than he is. It's glaringly obvious especially when you look at 60s Hank, who's already contending with the fact that young people in the 60s looked like they were 40 despite being 16; on top of that handicap, he's canonically the oldest of the O5 (by a whopping whole year, wow, much age gap), but also the one who dresses most formally, and speaks the most formally, and looks the most adult, because of his mutation.

He is physically the largest because of his massive limbs, ergo, you mentally code him as Older. The things that he does to hide and blend in, the suits, the primping, the big words, the stuffiness, all code as Older. You can also really see it with how he changes from classic Hank to feline Hank.

Like, there is a passage of time here, but despite the gap of around 15 years publication time, in-universe, it's only meant to be a few years. Hank is maybe 29 in the first page, 33-ish in the page, but the process of mutating and needing to affect a more distinctly human and more controlled appearance, the trauma that piled on multiplicatively, the darker tone of the comic as they went on, Hank just became older, relatively speaking, and artificially so, in a way.

This ended up compounding with storylines like X-Force, where he was explicitly written as being out of shape, sedentary, more cynical, less funny, all of these character tics that you just instinctively associate with age. A similar sort of thing happened with Professor Xavier - he was written to be much, much closer to the O5 in age in the original 60s run, judging by certain contextual clues and character backstory, but as time went on, his baldness, his disability, his relationships with notably older, adult women, his authority, all contributed to him being aged up and up and up. It's subtle, and it happens over time, but it does happen.

And, as you've touched on, Hank just became much less a character of action as time went on.

Hank actually became much stronger over time, going from being able to lift just one ton to a full ten tons by his modern mutation, but even with that power upgrade, his character archetype has been firmly nudged over, from the original X-Men's Big Guy bruiser, into a full on genius/mad scientist.

That is now his defining trait, because comic book writers like to have an easy source of sci-fi problems and solutions to tie up their plots, and use of brawn is just not considered to be an appropriately Beast solution to problems anymore. See also the move towards showcasing characters with flashy powers like energy projection and psionics over raw super strength, which I think is why characters like Colossus have really suffered with staying relevant in the comics these last few decades.

Hell, it's gotten so bad that Hank's trademark visual action style has, by and large, fallen by the wayside. It used to be that Hank did this kind of sequence all the time:

He does still do it, very, very occasionally, but the last time I can really think of him doing it is during S.W.O.R.D volume 1, back in 2009. Which, again, has a very bright, upbeat, energetic Beast. This sequence communicates energy, vitality, youth, and even though Hank hasn't aged that much, the lack of use of his old visual signifiers means that he feels older - or, maybe it's more accurate that he feels less notably young. Either way, the effect is the same.

On the one hand, this overall ageing up doesn't bother me as much as a lot of other Beast related foibles - the fandom's refusal to shut the fuck up with their one war crimes joke, for one - and it is a thing that Hank often tries to consciously foster, so that he feels more trustworthy and less dangerous, but it removes him from his friends in a way that I hate, and it makes him less human and less fun and, honestly? It makes him less popular, more remote.

You only have to see how people conceptualise Beast in headcanon or X-Men '97 fandom posts to see how Beast being older knocks on to his relationships with people - he's not regarded as Jean and Scott's mutual best friend, he's regarded as essentially Charles' friend, as the mature one.

People don't conceptualise him as funny, as overtly romantic, as sexual, as goofy, as lovable, he's distinguished and controlled and sometimes even cold, and that's just. Not Hank. Not in his entirety, anyway, not fully. Hank is such a good character precisely because he swings so wildly all over the emotional spectrum, is all of these things and more, and yet it all still makes cohesive sense when you key in to his character. Removing his warmth, his immaturity, his humour, his youth, hurts that complexity.

In short? #LetBeastBeYoungAndGoofyAgain. We're well overdue.

#koalaguru #outofmuffins

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tossawary · 10 months ago

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The passage where Sha Hualing loses her clothing:

"Next, this world proved itself to be truly that of a fanservice-packed stallion novel. After Sha Hualing was blasted away, she let out a single delicate scream, and the gauzy red cloth draped over her body - that had barely covered anything in the first place - also tore to shreds, eliciting a series of alarmed cries from the onlookers. She cushioned her landing with a beautifully executed roll, propelling herself to standing in a single movement. Demons were indeed bold and unrestrained; even though her entire body was censored out, Sha Hualing wasn't ashamed in the slightest. She spitefully tore off the cloak of a subordinate beside her, carelessly throwing it over herself.

"I underestimated you today," she said. "But we will definitely meet again in the future! Let's go!" "

Volume 1, Chapter 2, page 130.

I still wonder what "her entire body was censored out" means here. My assumption here (and when something similar happens later on) is that Shen Yuan is just ignoring the full-body nudity here. He is looking away. He is mentally applying black bars. This is a naked 15-16-year-old and he is NOT paying attention to that.

Honestly, I'm not sure whether or not I like this detail. On one hand, yeah, nipple slips and other flashing would be an inevitable side effect of wearing the skimpy clothing of harem stories, especially when you're wearing to battle. That's a realistic thing that would happen and I do find that a little funny. I do like the fact that this flashing happens quite quickly, no one appears to make that much of a deal out of it, and Sha Hualing covers herself quickly without feeling too much embarrassment. Despite this being an artifact of PIDW's sexy bullshit, it's treated practically here. Shen Qingqiu and Liu Qingge are not attracted to the demon teenager at all.

I can't full express what my issue with this nudity. I guess would prefer that if this had to happen, it had also happened more and to adult male characters as well, leaning into the sheer absurdity of living in the PIDW world. Shen Yuan loses a shirt to the Skinner Demon, and then later loses clothing again in the Water Prison, so that's something. But why not also have Liu Qingge lose a little more clothing in the Ling Xi Caves? Maybe Luo Binghe's blast of demonic energy during the Immortal Alliance Conference could have taken off Mobei-Jun's shirt? I'm going to be keeping track of the contrived nudity situations going forward.

It would be fun to write a fic in which the characters just... practically and tiredly deal with a world designed to eat clothing. It's not sexy. It's embarrassing, but mostly, everyone is very done with this.

#tossawary svsss #tossawary rereads svsss #sha hualing #shen qingqiu #liu qingge #shen yuan #fic ideas

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whumpdoyoumean · 2 months ago

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Whumptober #16

A/N: Ya girl is running behind, but still trucking! ✌️

part 1

xxx i can't feel anything

"Dickie!" Jason says, a dopey grin splitting his features. "Heyyy."

Dick smiles back. It's the kind of tired, fake smile that Jason sees through every time – when he's not drugged up to his eyeballs, anyway. Dick's physically exhausted; being up for over thirty hours straight will have that effect on most people.But it's not just that. Mentally, emotionally, he feels flayed, like he's a walking bundle of exposed nerves. Babs has been trying to coax him into going home for a shower and some sleep, but he can't bring himself to leave Jason's side.

They don't understand. They can't. He knows they're trying to, and he appreciates the effort, but the fact is they weren't there. Anything he says to them to try and explain won't come close to capturing how harrowing the experience had been. In the collapsed building, and then in the ambulance ride and ER after, as they struggled to keep Jason stable.

"How are you feeling?" he says, forcing himself back into the present. Pushing down thoughts of last night is getting harder to do as he grows increasingly fatigued. "Any pain in your arm?"

"Pain?" Jason says, squinting. "In my arm? No, I – I can't feel anything." He frowns. "They didn't take my arm, did they?"

"Nope, they didn't. Your arm is still there," Dick assures him. He points to Jason's left arm. "It's in that cast, see?"

Jason looks down and his eyes widen comically. "Whoa." His gaze shifts back to Dick. "Will you sign it?"

"Later," Dick says.

"There," Jason says, gesturing at the cast.

"Careful, Jaybird. You don't wanna pull your IV."

"You can sign it right there," Jason continues, ignoring him. "D-I-C-K." A mischievous look crosses his features. "Or you could just draw a dick."

Dick laughs. It's the first genuine smile he's had since he learned that Jason was in the building when the explosion happened.

"You'd better watch it, dude," he says as the post-op nurse snorts.

Jason hums. "You love me."

"Mm-hmm."

A shadow falls across Jason's face, and he looks like he might burst into tears. "Bruce doesn't love me."

Dick's heart clenches. "Of course he does."

"He hates me," Jason says quietly.

"Don't say that." Dick lays a hand on Jason's knee. "Bruce does not hate you."

"He does," Jason says, and lets out a wet sob. Dick looks up at the nurse, who's moved forward to put a hand on Jason's shoulder.

"It's normal to feel a bit emotional after the anesthesia," he says, and Dick knows he's saying it for his benefit as well as Jason's. "That's okay. You're okay, buddy."

"How long will it take before it wears off?" Dick asks, and the nurse shoots him a small, sympathetic smile.

"This part of it usually lasts an hour or so, but it'll be about twenty-four hours for all of it to be flushed from his system completely."

"And he won't remember any of this?"

"It's highly unlikely, unless you want to get your phone out."

Dick absolutely doesn't.

xxx

Jason falls asleep pretty quickly after he's settled back in his room. Dick texts the group chat.

Surgery went well. Jay's resting in his room now

There's a small knock on the door and Haley, one of the nurses that's been in and out a lot over the last day and a half, pokes her head in.

"Sorry to disturb you," she says, her voice barely above a whisper. "There's a gentleman here to see you."

Dick frowns. "To see me?"

She nods.

"Huh." He looks over at Jason, and something like grief pangs in his chest. Jay looks younger when he's asleep like this, more his age. If not for the white in his hair and the scars, he could pass for a regular nineteen year old.

"He'll be okay without you for a few minutes," Haley says gently. "I'll make sure he knows where you are if he wakes up."

Dick sighs and, a little reluctantly, stands. "Thank you," he says.

She smiles, and there's a ruefulness to it as she pats his arm. "You're a good brother."

Another sharp pain through the center of his chest, and this time it persists as he follows the nurse through the halls.

"Just in here," she says, opening the door to a quiet room.

His stomach drops.

Bruce.

xxx to be continued...

#whumptober2024 #no.16 #“i can't feel anything”#batfam #fic #hospital #recovery #angst #jason todd #dick grayson #whumptober #my writing #my fic #whump #whump fic

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tobiasdrake · 7 months ago

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love your db analysis posts! i'd love to hear your thoughts on ultimate gohan, if you have any. between him having little to no reaction to finding out everyone on earth is dead, and randomly letting gotenks fight buu instead of himself, he did not seem to be the same character at all to me, and iirc even piccolo says so, i just... find it hard to believe a non-rage-triggered power-up would do that to him.

Much like Android 16, I do wonder if there were more plans for Ultimate Gohan that wound up being scrapped by the shift in narrative direction.

We're first introduced to the concept of Ultimate Gohan as the Elder Kaioshin is explaining his abilities.

Gohan's dormant power has long been a recurring attribute of his character. In fact, this isn't the first time he's had an elderly sage draw out his dormant power.

Teaching him to draw out and control his dormant abilities was (stealthily) part of Goku's training with him. That Gohan was finally starting to make it his own and tap into his true ki is the reason for why he was repeatedly unimpressed by Goku's abilities.

Gohan didn't even realize it, but through his mastery of the Super Saiyan, he'd also begun to take control of and internalize the tremendous ki he'd always had stored away in him. And as he came into his own ki, what he could sense of Goku's ki proportional to his own didn't make sense to him.

Super Saiyan 2 was, then, the culmination of Gohan's development. His full power, channeled through the Super Saiyan and its amplifying effects - both for better and, uh, for worse.

But it's been seven years and Gohan's been indulging in his true love of academia, in accordance with the agreement Goku and Chi-Chi made about his future.

Goku may have successfully escaped having to get a job by conveniently dying at the last possible second, but Gohan's future is set on a course. He's going to be an academic. It's what Chi-Chi wants for him, and it's what Gohan wants for himself; Even Goku acknowledges that.

Seven years of rigorous study and zero martial arts practice later, Gohan isn't the guy anymore. In fact, examining just how much Gohan isn't the guy anymore is the whole point of his fight with Dabra.

Goku eyeballs Dabra as being roughly around Cell's power. This allows Dabra to serve as a yardstick for Gohan, so we understand what it means for him when he fails to measure up.

Gohan that was a Zanzoken/Afterimage. Nobody even does those anymore. They became obsolete after ki-sensing was normalized, because everyone can now easily sense which "image" is the real one. The one other time we saw a Zanzoken return post-23rd Tenkaichi Budokai, it was against Frieza, who can't sense ki.

Dabra is mocking you right now. He legit thinks you're so shitty at martial arts that you'll fall for this amateur-hour guff. And he's right.

I kinda feel Geets here. If I had to watch my last chance to ever fight my rival get wasted on this, I'd be losing my mind too. He fucking fell for a Zanzoken; Can I just take over already?

So. Yeah. Full Power Gohan isn't a thing anymore. He can still tap into the form - and for some inexplicable reason so can Goku and Vegeta - but this is no longer Peak Potential. Which is where the Elder Kaioshin comes in.

This is a classic formula of Dragon Ball. We've seen it in the RRA, Piccolo, Saiyan, Namek (twice!), and Android arcs. First, Goku gets the shit kicked out of him - sometimes even to the point of being presumed dead.

While the surviving cast members scurry about trying to find a way to face the bad guy, Goku - sometimes unbeknownst to them, sometimes not - is recovering and preparing to come back stronger than ever. This typically takes the form of some sort of godly trial or ordeal guaranteed to make him stronger than ever.

Then, at the 11th hour when all else has failed and all hope is lost, Goku makes his return to have one last epic battle for the fate of the world/universe/cosmos.

This is the Dragon Ball formula. Has been since the day the Four-Star Dragon Ball saved Goku's life from a lethal Dodonpa. Of course, getting Gohan back up to speed isn't going to be enough, since Majin Buu in his weakest form was able to do this to our Cell-adjacent yardstick.

I wonder what Dabra Cookie tastes like? I imagine it's like the wafer part of a Keebler cookie. Sugary and nice on its own but better with fudge.

So. Yeah. If Gohan's going to throw hands with Buu, he's going to need more than the power he fought Cell with. Fortunately, that's the Elder's specialty, and what makes this different than that other time Gohan had his dormant power drawn out.

That's right, we're limit-breaking again. Not the limits of human ability, the limits of Saiyan ability, or even the limits of Super Saiyan ability; We're limit-breaking Gohan specifically. Elder Kaioshin's abilities can not only draw out Gohan's full dormant ability but push it beyond Gohan's natural limits.

Full Power Gohan? Nah. This is Limit-Breaker Gohan. Not his full potential; Beyond his potential. Something entirely different from the Super Saiyan, but similar enough that he doesn't require much alternative instruction.

Kinda feels like a thing that shouldn't be able to exist, to be honest. After all the time that's been put into things like the strain of the Kaio-ken on a body, the effects of Frieza having power beyond his limits, or even what trying to use Super Saiyan 3 in a mortal body does to Goku in this very arc.

The idea of Gohan channeling ki beyond his limits seems like it should have some drawbacks, doesn't it? We do get some hints that something's weird about Gohan's new power. Piccolo can't even recognize his ki signature in this state.

This form is doing some weird shit to his ki. And, as Piccolo notes, Gohan's harder now. Gohan is here to take care of business, and nothing is going to get in his way.

But. Then. The switch happens. Suddenly, Gohan is no longer the protagonist and we need a way for Majin Buu to suddenly be too much for Gohan to handle. So we go from this:

To this:

In the span of two chapters. All so that Buu can ass-pull a brand new ability that's never once been mentioned before even though Kaioshin will later cop to having seen him do it twice, that will instantly make Ultimate Gohan stop being a solution to this problem two chapters after his debut.

A plan that, in fact, he began putting into place one chapter after Ultimate Gohan's debut. Never in the history of Dragon Ball has a brand new form or ability been obsoleted this quickly.

And then Gohan was basically thrown in the dumpster and this was never spoken of again, with Ultimate Gohan just becoming his new Strongest Transformation in follow-up products. You can feel the climactic final act being aggressively aborted around him, in favor of Goku and Vegeta's third act.

Hell, at one point, Goku even suggests bringing in Gohan to fight Pure Buu. Y'know. Since Ultimate Gohan is the strongest in the universe and all that. But Vegeta nopes it.

No explanation offered. He's just like, "That's not the plot anymore; Try to keep up, Kakarot." To be fair, Goku had a chance to bring Gohan into this too. They're both aggressively elbowing Gohan out of the spotlight here.

Mad disrespect.

#dragon ball #dragon ball z #son gohan

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getmylifetogetherwme · 4 months ago

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9/6/24 - Hi!

Hi!

I guess I should start this whole thing by introducing myself. My name is C! I'm in my final year of college, and I'm in the process of trying to really figure out what that means.

I spent the past three years of my college experience battling a serious illness. I won't go into too much detail, but just know, it rhymed with schmancer. So yeah. I had that, a really stubborn one too - the type that just refuses to go away even after you blast it with a ton of chemo.

Anyway, so that experience culminated into an extreme effort this year to finally rid me of the darn thing, and voila. It worked. I've been in remission for a few months now. It was really hard at first. Like I said, it was a pretty extreme effort (won't go into detail here, maybe later), but it left me feeling pretty terrible. Like I-couldn't-believe-the-world-was-still-turning-because-everything-was-so-awful kind of terrible. But finally, I guess I started feeling pretty human again.

So what does this all mean? Well, I guess it really means that I experienced shit at 19-22 that most people won't experience till they're much older (if at all). And I guess it also means I didn't really get the traditional college experience most people really strive for. There were few if any "wild nights" and fun.

I did "find myself" though. And then I found myself again. And again. Etc., so at least I had that bit of "normalcy." Everyone does that in college, or so I've heard.

Anyway, so this blog. Why make it, right? Here's the truth of the matter:

I am 22, in my final year of undergrad, and I want to get my life together. I want to study effectively, take care of my body (especially after all it has been through + done for me), and I just want to be the version of myself I know I can be.

Most importantly: I want accountability. That's where this blog comes in.

My hope with this blog is that it'll keep me going. I've tried a few times to kickstart this sort of "be the best version of myself" journey, and I've only been successful once, a few years ago, but then I fell off that horse, and well - I WANNA GET BACK ON!

So this blog will be a sort of an accountability diary/journal of sorts for me. I'll tell you guys all about my week, what I did that week to achieve my goals, etc. etc.. Also share pictures of things I'm studying, my life, etc. etc.. And maybe you guys will feel comfortable enough to let me in on some of your victories too!

I haven't really used tumblr in a while, not since I was like 16-ish, so I'm not really sure if people still use it for more traditional type of blogs, but if you're interested in studying, working out, reading, writing, trying to reach life goals, I would really appreciate it if you followed my blog and gave me a chance!

My next post will probably be getting into my details about my goals and such.

Thanks for reading,

-C

#blog #study #studyblr #fitness #studying #study blog #student #college #university #digital diary #diary #journal #journaling #get my life together #study motivation #student life #glow up

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manicpixiedckgirl · 1 year ago

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okay, so i posted a timeline. sue me! i quit all other social media last year and needed that dopamine hit. just a lil nicotine patch for online attention. seasonal depression is a bitch okay. i posted it here and to ig, bc ig is to late millennials what facebook is boomers. and people have all said some very nice things, but when you're posting a 10 year timeline, you're usually hoping for someone from your past to see it and go "woah! you're so different now"!

and whaddya know, this time it worked. one of my exes from when i was a teenager saw it. not one of the ones who turned out to be a lesbian, one of the ones who turned out to be a trans man. He just wanted to say hi - that he was so happy to see that i looked happy, and that i looked incredible, especially compared to the scruffy twink they had dated. (okay those are my words not his)

he and I didn’t have a great relationship at first - no one had a great relationship with me before i realized i was a trans woman obviously, but this was pretty young. I was really repressed and weird back then, and still very much without any social graces, and we were only like 16. they caught the full broadside of my emo fuckboy energy and got out fast once they saw that - i don’t blame them. I was crying in their arms about how much i hated my new body hair, and how i wanted to be able to wear dresses, and the next day i’d be completely emotionally unavailable and denying all of it. not exactly boyfriend material, not entirely boyfriend. They were very traumatized too in their own way, just realizing they were trans too, and engaging in a lot of ‘i want to be a gay man’ antics, fucking their way through the pain. He was frankly way too cool and sexually liberated to be wasting his time with that version of me. And it was very obvious to everyone who knew what that was 12-15 years ago that i was a closeted trans girl. we had a friend group that eventually fell apart, and we parted for the first time.

Later, in our late teens/20, we would end up fucking - i had started to accept and announce that my gender was complicated, and i was starting to be kinda faggy and loud about it, and not everyone hated that, and they had just started T and were boy horny. We split a bottle of wine (or was it two? It was probably two) and started watching an ashley tisdale movie. Looking back on it, how it went must definitely have been his plan, but i’ve always been blind about this stuff and was that night. It was definitely bad sex, but it was also fun sex - the first time I enjoyed myself, and the pressure of having to be a guy wasn’t so overwhelming i didnt effectively black out. he’s one of the first people i ever talked to about feeling complicated about gender, and i think by then he had figured me out, and was just letting me get the rest of the way on my own. I still couldn’t top for him, i never rly could top for anyone, even before estrogen. but we still had fun, with our hands and with our mouths. and then after that, we'd go to art shows and poetry readings and hang out again occasionally, like we talked about doing when we were literal kids, putting on rocky horror in our front rooms.

but life takes you away from people, and he got into film school, and i somehow graduated my chemistry program and moved to the US. he moved to Germany for a while, although i hear he's back home. i got married, got separated, there was a global pandemic. we hadn't talked in years, although i had snooped on him once or twice. He’s a director now - he’s made some impressive arthouse films, all horror and gender and kitchy campy cerebral themes. He’s got a big tv writing credit on the way in irish tv. Idk - it felt rly good to impress him, to say hi, to remember. it's really cool to see other trans people thriving and living life, always. anyone who cleaves reality to themselves and fashions themselves into someone they can love is someone who impresses me. but it's different when it's someone you've known for almost half your life - someone you were a fucked up kid with, not sure if either of you would make it to 18. and to be smiling at each other, looking at 30, and wondering what's next. i'm really proud of the both of us actually. and i needed that today.

#trans #essay #diary

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pinkmoondoll9shihtzu · 6 months ago

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l, i was wondering if u could give me some suggestions on an issue i am facing.. its been 6 months since me n ex broke up (on winter solstice nonetheless..) for very good reasons after 3 yrs, we really were doing some damage to each other for a while , triggering each others core wounds like Crazy. i reaally was in a bad place for the whole last yr of it and now really do feel so much better being out. however we lived together for yrs and they were who i was closest to for so long, n we were each others first love once before at 16/17. i felt just anger for months, but now its residing and i just feel soooo tied to them still… i do not want to get bacj w them, but so much of my time now is spent in deep nostalgia of the happy/quiet moments, wanting the good of those times back even tho logically i know its Impossible. wishing i could go back and do it again. wanting to reach out even tho i know it would only be detrimental. i was wondering if u have any tips on balancing this miss with continuing to move on, as i know i must finally do so fully — i feel the anger was keeping me moving forward, but now that its waning i fear getting stuck in this state. i feel as tho this is why we got back together to begin w. anyhow thank u as always fer ur infinite wisdoms x dog bless

hello <3 i understand... both of us had big endings at winter solstice lol what kind of assertive force was in the air back then i wonder ! here's my advice althoug it seems to me u already know what's right for you so it's sort of just reinforcement of your feelings ---

first thing i want to get out of the way is that if you and this person were meant to be together i believe the breakup never would/ve happened & there would've never been a single doubt in your mind about this partnership. I can say this after spending a few years living with slimbo, like, We endlessly grow closer, our bond is fully forged in stability and peace and understanding. There is not a single moment in the past few years of being in their presence that i've had a single doubt of our longevity. We do not make each other's life hell in even the slightest sense. if something comes up we work it out within that day and it never carries over to the next. And that rarely occurs.

Previously in life i did not know such harmony could exist, but now that i know, i look at all my old relationships like damn, i can't believe i ever thought that person could've been "the one" when we clashing so often. And i mean it's not like i could've known better because for most of us, we grow up in families that face much conflict, you just think Oh this is normal right? People fight and thats normal, there's tension and it's normal. Well now i know it is NOT normal and when you find someone who's really ready to meet you where you're at it creates harmony, true harmony, even if external conflict arises it brings you closer, you can solve any problem together, you're on the same level.

(Also i'm not sure how old you are but i think it's super rare to find this type of harmony until a little later in life because youth is confusing & people are still figuring themselves out, gaining the maturity it takes to be a reliable partner and whatnot).

But what i feel is happening for you and this person is that you went through all these formative experiences together, and maybe you're missing the rush of that more than you miss the actual person. Like maybe you're just bored xD that's not meant to sound harsh im just being real. boredom often leads to nostalgia. a little nostalgia here and there can be fun & transmuted into new experiences but being overly absorbed in nostalgia is not conducive to growth, only stagnation. do not fall victim to halo effect just because you're bored or lonely!!

If you were to get back with this person it would 1) block the way for someone who truly matches your frequency to come through, and 2) Likely your repressed anger and resentment towards that person would begin to infiltrate the relationship again pretty quickly. It's not fair to them, nor is it fair to yourself, it would only prolong the suffering.

So i think to move forward from this experience you could try a few things. Firstly i think you're being called to really go inwards, figure out why you feel bored right now, why you feel something is lacking in your life when you have to be alone? Learn how to fill your time with more things you enjoy, becoming stronger in your self concept through introspection, hobbies, leisure, just having fun by yourself. When you can do stuff like this it actually makes you very attractive & radiant in a way that magnetizes people who are also pretty solid in themselves. U just can't really have a good healthy relationship unless both of you are solid and Know Yourselves like thats just a universal truth.

And another thing i'd consider trying is like, meditations where you envision yourself cutting the chord that energetically binds you to this person from your past. That is if you want to get a little woowoo with it. But i really believe in the effectiveness of those exercises. Don't rush into it, just like, when you feel truly ready, let it go. You can still hold your memories and honor your experience with them without wanting them to be in your physicality again. There are exes who i haven't spoken to in yeeeears who i actually can look upon much more fondly now that i've let go. i forgive them and wish them well but it's nice to be distant.

don't be afraid of change~~~don't be afraid that a better match will never come along for you. I didn't foresee anything about the romance i have now before it happened. I knew i wanted to find a love that felt balanced and fulfilling but not All-Consuming. by a total random sequence of events, my vibe was met. You just never know whats around the corner ^^ The more open you are to change, the more change will find you. But you know going back to that person would just be a needless repeat of an old cycle. it's ok to still cherish them and keep moving forward. it's good you're able to feel less angry towards them now, that shows growth & maturity. But dont let it drag you back in !!

i hope this resonates and doesn't sound too preachy lol . Just hate to see someone fall back into Old HABITS. For your sake and the sake of your old partner. letting go is a crucial skill to learn in this life. Best of luck to you anon, you sound like a good person who wants to do their best & that will carry you far in life & love.

Sincerely

PMD9 <3

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krastbannert · 7 months ago

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Tagged by @noexoozes

20 Questions for Fic Writers

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 69 (nice) on my main account, with 5 on another account. And then there's a few here and there I've deleted over the years.

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 188,387 words.

3. What fandoms do you write for? Avatar: The Last Airbender, Avatar: The Legend of Korra, Tron: Legacy, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, The Dragon Prince, Mass Effect, Destiny, and Horizon (as in Horizon: Zero Dawn and Forbidden West). At one point I had a Halo fic but that's been deleted. And then I've got a few original works.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

to that loyal heart (you're forever sixteen) - Zuko and the 41st Division, and what it means to those who will never forget what Zuko did.

Twin Flames - Azula-centric, post redemption, where she meets her niece, Izumi, for the first time, and finds that they have something in common.

those stories written in your skin - Zuko and his various tattoos, and the story of a journey around the world.

Lonely - Fire Hazard Siblings-centric, a small, quiet moment on Ember Island where both, for the first time, feel safe.

Wash These Stones - sequel to to that loyal heart (you're forever sixteen), about Chit Sang, the 41st Division, the loss of a child, and the healing that comes years later.

5. Do you respond to comments? I try to respond to all of them, but I kinda...lost track and stopped around 8 or 9 months ago. I recently responded to a lot of them, finally.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? The multishipping discord kinda hated for Hey, Pretty Boy, my modern AU Yuekka oneshot told from Yue's perspective. They thought that was really angsty. And the Taangst Week pieces I did were, to the other Taang fans, pretty scaring (still waiting for Taangst Week II: Electric Boogaloo). But I think the angstiest fic I've ever written is either The Abyss or Escaping the Shells - both have no happiness, no comfort, no catharsis. They're just about what's left when the battle is over, and the hollow shells of people that the fighting leaves behind.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Probably Across That Glimmering Sea, the story I wrote for the Fire Nation Recovery Zine - about the world letting out its breath after the war, and learning to live again - or maybe Go For Broke, the true story of a real-life hero. If planned endings are counted, probably either Brave Soldier Girl or not with a whimper (but a roar like thunder).

8. Do you get hate on fics? Ehhhh depends on your definition of hate. I haven't gotten any of the classic hate comments that a lot of my friends have gotten, but Brave Soldier Girl has gotten some pretty heated negative comments on the last two chapters.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I have, but I've written so little that I don't really think I have a type, per say. I have written any in a while.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I have not written a crossover. Thought about it, years ago, but haven't.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Not to my knowledge.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I've been a beta reader, but that's it.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh honestly, I have no idea. I love a lot of ships for a lot of reasons, so it's really hard to pick.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? At this point? All of them. Realistically, tamehegane (my swordsmith!Azula AU) and hold you like a hand grenade (Azula & Ursa, companion to Brave Soldier Girl).

16. What are your writing strengths? Recurring motifs to represent characters and the story, and digging into the thoughts and feelings of characters so they feel real.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? The act of writing. Not kidding. I suck at actually sitting down and writing. Also, general confidence in my writing (hard to feel like you're actually a good writer when almost no one reads the majority of what you've written in the last two years). Those are probably linked together in a way I don't really feel like examining too closely.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I've tried it; something about it doesn't feel right, probably because I only speak English fluently.

19. First fandom you wrote for? The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? Oh, man. Neither are finished, but probably Brave Soldier Girl or not with a whimper (but a roar like thunder). So much I have planned for both, so much research for both, so much work and emotion that I'm trying to put into each one. It's hard to say which one is realistically my favorite.

Tagging @authorjoydragon @thiscryptidischronicallyyours @mycomfortblanket @nyamadermont and whoever else wants to consider themselves tagged!

#tag game

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lezbfrenz · 7 months ago

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tl;dr - i got a promotion, HR sucks and tried to block it/ make me jump through some more hoops, my boss fought for me and it's going forward as originally promised.

i got a promotion last month, but it wasn't starting until next week.. yay!! or maybe not. apparently HR goofed and uploaded the 'wrong' job description in our system for the promotion i received. my boss pre selected me as the candidate. the job posting was JUST for me, no one else would have been selected over me. there are 2 analysts on our team, and last year the senior analyst quit without notice & without me being trained on a lot of things he did, but i took it in stride and reverse engineered a lot of things so there was barely a blip in reporting and did the work for 2 people for half a year.

it was a promotion well deserved, i think. my boss was always happy with my work, never complained. i attended a mentorship program and i feel like I've grown a lot in the last year. she's really proud of me. i try and bring positivity to the team, i always help out when i can, and i do my best to share as many training documents and information as possible to make things easier for everyone.

but, the issue here... because of course something always has to go wrong in my life. the job posting HR loaded was for a senior position, but it was not exactly correct. in the requirements it said I must have a 4 year degree. they did not verify this BEFORE giving me the job offer. they wait less than a week before updating me in the system (my official promotion was supposed to go into effect 6/16), to ask for it.

a couple emails back and forth, and basically HR stated that they would not give me the promotion without the degree, OR my boss would need to submit a service ticket to get the job description updated, reflecting the correct job requirements, and then i would 'reapply'.

my boss showed me the actual job description months ago. it didnt match what was posted on our internal job posting when i applied, but HR has always messed those up so i ignored it. it was wrong when i applied for a buyer role, when i applied for a jr analyst, so no duh when i applied for a sr analyst. the 'real' job description stated that you need a 4 year degree OR (emphasis on or) 5 years or more equivalent analytic experience. which i have, plenty of. i have at least 9 years of analytical experience as a buyer, a sourcing specialist, a materials planner, as a vendor manager. I've done it all basically. i dropped out of college when my mom died, because the FASFA requires 1 parent on the application until you're like 26, even if you have been independent for years and don't speak to your other surviving parent, and i refused to get any loans. a lot of my friends are still paying loans 10+ years later.. every time i try and build up savings, it disappears. car breaking down, hvac or appliances need replaced, lost my job - 3 times in last 6 years. all my savings, bye bye!! no savings, no college. 🤷‍♀️

anyways.. this stupid lil hiccup in HR went from bottom of the totem pole, to supervisor, to manager, to director. i was absolutely devastated about all of this. i could not concentrate at all in the last few hours of my workday. i have been in the negatives for almost three years now, going paycheck to paycheck and using credit cards to pay for essentials like groceries. my partner lost their job last year and is making half what i make (when we used to make the same). the promotion will give me a couple extra hundred per pay check every 2 weeks. it would help us get out of the red.

i have no idea what my face looked like when i brought my boss into this. i was still copied on the emails back and forth between her arguing with HR, and when I went into her office after their last reply stating i wouldn't get it until some extra BS tickets were submitted.. somehow i didn't cry but it was a close thing. she doesn't like to swear at work but she did say 'what the FUCK?!?!' after i closed her door, in regards to HR.

i have never had a manager fight for me like this before. usually i get unsupportive leadership, who just keep piling more onto me, and make excuses why they can't promote me or give me a raise. or say i wouldn't be a good fit for a higher position and i need to stay where I'm at. my current boss has been amazing. i have no idea what i did to deserve to be treated so well. im going to miss her when she retires in the next year or so.

i left for the day in the worst of moods. about halfway into my drive though, thankfully, she called me to let me know that she spoke with someone higher up in HR and it is being fixed ASAP, that we are going forward with the 6/16 start date with my promotion. and she told me not to worry about a thing.

i was shocked, and nearly side swiped a big ass truck when she told me, but man.. i thanked her and we ended the call but it took hours for my anxiety to go away. i just want to stop being stressed all the time. it was so hard for me to ask for a raise/ promotion as it was (after being told NO so many times, you kind of stop asking), it just feels like another hurdle just as a nice lil 'fuck you'.

anyways. if you read this far, thanks? have a good evening/morning/day

#tp

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ben10ocfanfic · 1 year ago

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Tale of 10 chapter 6

1. The group of boys Continued to ride. Jesse Took a very deep breath. He looked at the scene around him and took note of the damages to the rv. Admittedly it wasnt as bad as it could be considering what happened.

2. It still didnt make Dj feel any better apon seeing one of his oldest freinds looking so distraught. This RV was Jesses home. He worked since he was 15 for this truck. He almost dropped out junior year to keep his job.

3. Dj walked over to his old freind."If theres anything i can do please tell me jess." Jesse just smiled." I love this thing. But thats all it is brother just a thing. Id rather lose it then you guys."

4. In silent agreement Rick an josè nodded there heads."yeah an besides we can always help fix it." José said cheerfully. Jesse raised a brow."you know how to replace a dashboard broken windshelid an numrous holes along the back?"

5. Jose chuckled nervously "well we can always watch you do it." Jess rolled his eyes." Thats what I thought now lets figure this out" jess pointed at Dj.

6. Two hours later. Progress had been slow. Rick had been trying to focus on how Djs biology worked. Honestly he had no clue." My best guess is you're currently some sort of alien. "

7. Everyone sorta just looked at him confused."how did you come up with that one Sherlock?" José asked sarcastically. Rick sighed." Well, those robot things seemed to come from space. An im guessing they were after you since I dont see any other reason to attack."

8.while not satifyed the boys accepted it as jesse started tapping hard on the hourglass symbol." Jess you good dude?"Dj asked. Jess didnt awnser right away but spoke after a minute or two."I think you should be able to push this down but it looks stuck."

9. Dj nodded before thinking for a moment. He then started repeatedly smacking the symbol. After a few minutes a red flash blinded everyone before everyone saw the form of Dj.

10. Dj looked down observing his body. Everything seemed normal even his cloths were back untill he look as his wrist. There on his wrist was a green an black watch. The frimliar hour glass symbol was also present. However parts of the watch looked damaged.

11. The hourglass symbol had a noticeable crack although its was faint an didn't distort the symbol. Some parts looked to have exposed wiring. As if the covering had been removed. But most noticble part was that something was effecting the skin around Djs arm. Little, thick, green, square ,like lines. It almost looked like a tattoo of some sort.

12. It made Dj feel uncomfortable. He immediately reach for it. Attempting to rip it off him. He struggled for a minute before his face went pale. Rick then noticed djs face as jose an jesse inspected the rest of djs body for any injuries. "Hey buddy uh whats wrong?" Rick asked as Dj stared at him.

13. Jose an Jesse were now concerned as well. "Hola hermano ¿estás bien? Estamos preocupados por ti. ...Te ves pálido" José questioned. Jesse shook his freind slightly trying to get him to react.

14. Finally he spoke. "Its stuck." The boys all go quiet. "Its fused to MY FUCKING SKIN!!!!" Dj started to scream while waving his arm wildly while the boys try to calm him.

15. After nearly an hour of panicked screaming the boys gather around Dj. At this point the boys had been trying to remove the watch using various tools most of witch were broken. The boys were now trying something new

16."Guys this is a bad idea." Said Dj as jose attached jummper cables to the watch. Rick an Jesse looked back at there freind an shrugged. "Its fine our plan is solid" Rick then chimed in. "Its this or the hacksaw.". Dj gulped. "Hey dont worry man I got only one arm an im fine."

17. " I still don't like this I dont care what happens to me but what if you guys get hurt trying to hack this thing.!" Jesse just laughed. "Dont worry besides were not hacking anything were gonna use ricks laptop to create a electrical feedback loop. Witch will hopefully cause a system overload loop to shut down whats restraining you."

18. Dj an jose give him a blank stare. Rick sighs an face palm. "Doctor redneck here is trying to fry the watch." The two nod. "Yeah frying the alien watch still sounds like a bad idea. I just don't want my best freinds getting vaporized. " dj said before he sighed." But I can't really stop you from helping."

19."Dam right now lets fry some bacon!" Yelled jesse as he started. The computer humed to life along with the watch. Jose and ruck kept a hand around each clamp incase the needed to stop.

20. Dj tryed his best to stay calm. Jose smiled "see essay were good nothing can go wrong." Rick jesse an dj gave him a stink eye as the watcu started to glow. "You just had to say it." Said dj. Jesses panicked an started to press the keys quickly. "Shit! Get thoses off him! Now!"

21. without hesitation the boys started to pull hard but soon found the clamps were stuck."Guys forget me run!" Jose pulled harded the vain in his arm showing. " HELL NO. Were brothers amigo! We wont leave you behind!"

22. Rick strained as well pulling with both hands. "It will be a cold day in hell before we abadon- whats happing to our hands?" In response José looked down at his hand an noticed it was turning a dark green while ricks were turning black.

23. They looked to jesse who held up two unnaturally white hands before a green light took over there vision. A Shockwave of green energy erupted from the watch an knocked them unconscious.

24. Meanwhile far off in space on the planet Galvin prime.

25.A small 3 inch gray alien in green robes tinkered away. He have a smirk on his face as the small machine came to life. It looked like a mechanical spider. "Theses new drones should make repairs easier. Of course this is only a prototype."

26.As the alien admired his work another alien rushed in yelling nonsense as he tryed to get the others attention. This alien wore a lab coat with large oversized googles.

27. The first alien sighed. "Darwin please I know taking the role as my new assistant has gotten you nervous but I cant understand you. Witch is saying something as I know over 12000 different languages. At least breathe"

28. The alien took a deep breathe. "My apologies first thinker asmuth. But its happened. The omnitrix is back online. An I think it done something to earth."

29. Dawrin handed a tablet to asmuth. The first thinker sighed." It seems the past is catching up with us. It looks like someone tryed overloading the omnitrix but only cuased it to release a wave of dna across the planet. This is very bad. I must seek audience with the guardians of Oa an gain permission to one again return to earth.

30. Darwin gulped. "First thinker they banned you from returning after the incident. " asmuth chuckled "its only an incident if i did something on accident. Whatever the case earth is in grave danger. I only hope the new guardian is as worthy as Tennyson. May his gods watch over him. Because i doubt were the only ones who took notice."

#ben 10 #comedy #fanfic #drama #asmuth #ocs

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insanescriptist · 13 days ago

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Man, I gotta agree with this when it comes to the Pits and Jason's "Pit Madness"; it works as an excuse for Jason's bat-shit characterization in later runs because when it came to Jason, DC threw out his character bible when he got voted off. Sometimes the other comic writers got like three sentences to base his character off of and it's obvious. At the moment it kinda reads like DC's trying to shove him into an edgier Dick Grayson shaped box depending on what you're reading, and it falls flat. Because Jason Todd is not Dick Grayson. Jason's a narrative foil, not the lynchpin of DC.

However I find it interesting that Bruce is hesitating because of the brain damage specifically. It's an interesting line of thought for Bruce to use as a reasoning to not do it. When the pits are said to "heal all ills."

Most of the damage healed by the Lazarus Pits is recent physical trauma ie killing blows. It can only be used by the dying and recently dead (Ra's has been dropped in it dead before, in some of the older comics); it kills the living. This is also where I get to point out that once you're dead, your brain no longer has oxygen and glucose going to it. Your brain cells are dying once what's up there is gone. Which only takes minutes. So since Ra's is still able to think coherently, manage his empire/country/cult and so on, it's very much obvious that the Pits can heal brain damage. But wait, there's more! After all, aging is also damage and when the brain ages, along with the body, the byproducts of brain function are no longer as effectively removed while a person sleeps.

Because of this, one can actually argue that the immediate reaction of "madness," is actually the brain getting healed by the pit. The brain is after all, an organ that takes a lot of care in staying in a constant consistent state; it likes it's soup in a specific way, has specific tolerances and needs or it can't brain. That's kind of why the blood brain barrier exists. Brain doesn't want the icky in blood, it only wants the sugar and the oxygen.

Now then, the "madness," is written to be brief hysterical strength in which whoever it is cannot discern friend from foe. Which again, makes sense. The brain reverts back to base instincts, they feel vulnerable and they lash out. Often killing people. The base instincts I'm pointing to here are obviously Fight or Flight.

And then here we have catatonic Jason Todd.

From the first chapter of Lost Days, we see Jason's brain isn't really functioning, except to stimuli and muscle memory.

And then Talia puts him into a pit.

It's interesting that Lost Days is using an Orange Lazarus Pit, because those are multi-use pits aka a person can be revived in that pit multiple times. The green pits are one time use per person.

Also Jason got pushed in while Ra's was doing his old man bath. He probably tries not to think about that.

More importantly, Jason got pushed in while healthy. Which people go, he has brain damage! That's not okay! And it's not! The Lazarus Pits are known for killing healthy people. Jason has damage, he's short for his age, possibly due to malnutrition as a child (at 15 going towards 16 upon his death, he should not be shoulder height to Talia; the average 12-13 year old would be. Jason's actually older than 16, even without coffin time, since he's been vegging out in the care facility and then living on the streets; he's absolutely tiny for his age) His brain isn't capable of expressing higher and more complex thoughts. But he's been eating well, he's in great shape and he's young. Damaged yes, but otherwise healthy.

So even Jason's "revival" in the pit was a bit atypical in that he wasn't dead or dying of physical trauma. And that the Pit didn't end him!

More importantly, from various Jason recollections across various comics, Jason's memories are intact from prior to his death. He remembers his childhood, he remembers living on the street and other events such as school and being Robin and all the skills that being Robin required! He remembers details clear enough to know the Batmobile's weaknesses! So Batman's assumption of the brain damage might return Jason to life but leave him catatonic is clearly an error-filled assumption!

But what about the hotel room he destroyed after Talia revived him? Surely that was Pit Madness? Didn't he murder the two men?

Brief period of events to recap, Talia and Jason ran half a mile after his "revival" so she could toss him to where he could swim to a spot, gets a hotel, reads Talia's letter and gets the newspaper telling him Joker has been arrested and loses it. Beats up the hotel managers checking on Jason because he's destroying the room, smuggles himself to Gotham in less than twelve hours after being revived, all while avoiding Talia's people, her trackers and doesn't even use the papers she had prepared for him. He took the money and ran after his crying jag. Then he hatches a plan while getting transported to Gotham, gets his supplies, sets up a trade deal on both ends as bait for Batman and then places a bomb on the Batmobile. Decides to not actually kill Batman for his failure to avenge Jason's death. So all week he's been in Gotham, he's been fine enough to not need a panel dedicated to him being pit-mad. Which again, Pit Madness is shown again and again to be immediate violence when people are revived. Only Ra's has said otherwise and he has centuries of exposure.

Let's be honest, the violence is concerning but again, he gave the hotel managers a beatdown. He didn't murder them. (Again, head wounds bleed a lot. They do look absolutely murdered, but they lived afterwards. Talia's agents specify beatdown, not murder. Talia's agents might have murdered them after.) Also there's only two of them and a destroyed hotel room.

Bruce has had arguably worse and longer violent reactions for less reasons than finding out the guy who took you in, cared for you you and adopted you as a son, was your crime-fighting partner ended up not avenging you after you were brutally murdered and replaced you with another partner, another child, another son (presumably.) It's been years and he's still doing the same song and dance with arresting the Joker. Also Jason learning he's lost years of his life due to death, catatonia? Another reason to grieve.

Comparatively Batman has hunted down former henchmen of Rogues to beatdown for any possible information and also just beaten down criminal types at will in order to turn up a lead. Wanna argue? A Death in the Family shows it.

Anyway, it's absolutely thuggish behavior from the World's Greatest Detective. Also Batman ambushes people smuggling medical supplies, because that's exactly what a hero should do. It's arguable who they're smuggling supplies for (government faction vs rebels vs citizens caught in the crossfire) but it's still very dubious actions from someone who's written narratively as a hero.

So even arguably when relatively fresh from the Pit, Jason is less violent than Batman is sometimes. So clearly destroying the hotel room is just an intense episode of grief. Which taking feelings out on objects isn't great, but it's still better than hurting other people because you think they deserve it. Jason only hurt the hotel managers because they were trying to stop Jason from further destroying the room in his grief.

Anyway, Jason's a special guy and has been exposed to more Lazarus based stuff!

Time to get that infamous Task Force Z pic

Tis the Lazarus resin stuff! And also even after, Jason's still not Pit-mad or a zombie!

In fact he apologizes to Deadshot after. Clearly not Pit Mad.

So yeah, you could argue that Jason suffers from Pit-madness consider how his characterization isn't coherent after UtRH and Lost Days.

Or you could argue that Jason is the person least likely to be effected by Pit Madness and has shown that several times now.

You can absolutely hate on #148 for it's terrible writing and cheap conclusion but again, Jason with no Pit Madness upon revival. And again, the Pit healing a mental "injury" in Jason.

Sure you can argue for Pit Madness for Jason on the word of Ra's but you could also argue Jason comes out of the Pits as terrifyingly sane, so all his unhinged behavior is him and his trauma responses that he has less than ideal coping mechanisms for! Kinda what happens when you're the most isolated Robin (no superhero team of his own) and full of C-PTSD from living homeless in the worst part of Gotham, seeing more traumatizing situations as Robin, react to that trauma in what should be a safe space, get benched for it, see a distraction and a possible escape to catch a breather away from Batman/Bruce, get betrayed by your biological mother and then murdered! Not to mention the stuff that's happened to him after he came back to Gotham! Jason's got a lifetime subscription of issues but arguably Pit Madness isn't one.

(But it is fun >:3e)

Okay, we gotta talk about Pit Madness in the comics.

I keep seeing a bunch of people saying it’s not real. Problem. It is. It’s just rarely brought up.

It might not be the earliest reference, but we have this panel with Talia talking about how madness seizes him after dipping in the Lazarus Pit

Batman #244 (1972)

But this isn’t the only time we get reference to this. The panel below also talks about lore of the Lazarus Pits and again mentions that madness.

Batman: Bane of the Demon. Issue 3 (1998)

This gets referenced again in Hush when Bruce is fighting who he thinks is someone pretending to be Jason having been resurrected in the Pits during Hush.

Bruce is thinking about how he almost out Jason in a Pit after his death, but due to the madness the Pit can cause and Jason’s injuries to the head, he thought against it.

Batman # 618 - I think it’s volume 11 in the Hush omnibus (2003)

We see a reference to it again regarding Jason in the Lost Days. What’s super interesting here is that Talia states the Pits did NOT drive Jason mad, but Ra’s warns her that it’s possible the madness can occur up to years after a person’s dip.

I find this particular one fascinating, simply because of the lore that Pit Madness can take hold decades after a dip in a Pit.

Red Hood: the Lost Days #2 (2010)

Now, regarding Jason. There has NEVER been any concrete proof he’s suffered from Pit Madness. It’s very popular as a head cannon simply because Jason’s characterization is so all over the place.

Edit: Please keep in mind Jason was calm, cool, collected, and conniving in Under the Red Hood. Saying he’s Pit Mad there takes away all of the impact and gets rid of his motivations. Please be aware of this.

Now, that’s not saying there’s not a connection between Jason and the Pits. There was an entire arc in Red Hood and the Outlaws (2010) regarding this which also deals with Jason’s time with the All-Caste.

I still haven’t gotten around to reading that part, but it’s where the permanent augmentation theories come from. Oh, and Jason can canonically make constructs from Lazarus Water. Ra’s can too, but yeah… it’s a thing.

Red Hood and the Outlaws 2010 #27 (Released in 2014)

But while there’s no confirmation Jason’s dealt with Pit Madness, you know who has? Cass

Batgirl 1 #72 or 73 (2006)

Cass was revived after taking a blow for someone. And Shiva revived her, but there’s no permanence to it. And to my knowledge, I could be wrong since I’m not as familiar with her runs, this is the only time it gets referenced with her.

But going back to my original point that started this: Pit Madness is real. It’s just rarely seen in the comics. And if you want to use it, that’s fine - just be careful about its use since you can ruin characterization with it.

Edit 2: while there isn’t much of Pit Madness seen in the comics, it does seem to wear off over time. We also know a dip in the Pit temporarily increases brain power and physical strength/ability.

We also know that there’s a Lazarus Pit under Gotham and that its waters leech into Gotham’s water supply.

That’s referenced in Teen Titans vol. 3 issues 40-41 (2007) - forgive me. I don’t feel like looking up those panels

#DC #Jason Todd #lazarus pit #Pit Madness

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bacongrease55 · 4 months ago

Text

Dynasty Origins

It doesn't seem like that long ago that we got together to try a new fantasy football format. A league with not just one keeper, but where you can keep multiple players together for their whole careers if you so choose. While there was a lot of interest in trying out the new format, I wasn't sure if it would stick for us or not. Here we are nine years later though, and not only has it stuck, I personally get excited every year for this format, and it seems like something we will keep going for a long time. I believe dynasty has made me a better fantasy football player, by forcing me to put some time researching players I would have never spent time on before. The pressure of every transaction potentially effecting your team for years to come is a thrill I don't get from a regular league.

As we get close now to a full decade of dynasty, I wanted to take a look back to the draft that started it all. How many players are still in the NFL since then? Who were the original busts and steals? Who the hell even are some of these guys? I'll answer these questions and more in part one of a nine article series I am looking forward to writing about our dynasty league. I haven't written much before about dynasty, which is a shame, considering how much crazy history this league has created the last eight years. I hope you all that read this enjoy some of the wild moves and stats that have shaped the league today as much as I enjoyed researching it all.

Without further exposition let's go back to 2016. Ten original members, of which eight are still operating their original teams took part in, what is likely for many of us, the longest fantasy draft we had ever participated in. 22 rounds of drafting with more time on the clock than usual. Each of us were faced with a puzzle of how do I build a team that can win this year's championship, but still be good in the future?

The first round was a who's who of hall of fame/high caliber fantasy stud players. Even though a few would only have a couple more top fantasy seasons left in the tank, I can honestly say that all ten first round picks were valid and the owner would probably make the same pick all over again and feel good about it.

1. Antonio Brown John

2. Odell Beckham Jr. Paul

3. Cam Newton Joucken (Now David)

4. Julio Jones Deron

5. Todd Gurley Donny (Now Alan)

6. Ezekiel Elliott Cory

7. David Johnson Radin

8. DeAndre Hopkins Sarah

9. Adrian Peterson Wilson

10. Rob Gronkowski Turnage

The league nailed the second round as well, with one exception: Brandon Marshall, pick 16 by Donny. Now I know what you're thinking, Brandon Marshall a bust? But he was a hell of a player. I agree that Brandon Marshall was a great receiver at the borderline of being a hall of famer in fact. The only problem is, Marshall produced hardly anything for Donny. In the final three years of his career from 2016-2018, Marshall produced a grand total of 88 receptions for 1,078 yards and four touchdowns. For comparisons sake, Marshall produced a whopping EIGHT single seasons that beat this three-year span mark in his career. Considering how many more productive players were taken after him, it's safe to say Marshall was a bust when it comes to our dynasty league.

Going down the list, I decided to look at the first seven rounds for any other busts that stood out, as it's difficult to say picks after that would really qualify as a bust. Seven more players stood out.

Eddie Lacey pick 25 by Donny. To say he hardly produced at all for Donny would be an understatement. Lacey would only play two years for Donny, before eating himself out of football. He failed to score a single touchdown in those two years. Drafting two busts in his first three picks was a huge setback for Donny, despite the fact that he actually drafted some steals that I'll go over later. Donny would give up his team to Alan after a few years of mediocrity which has to be strongly attributed to the two busts he drafted early in the league's first day of existence.

Jordan Reed pick 35 by Cory. Unlike the previous players, Reed at least gave me one season of competent TE1 level play. The problem is, that isn't near enough production out of a young tight end taken in round four that you are expecting to be a mainstay of your team for the next decade. It's easy to look at Reed now as a great case of a physically dominant player that just couldn't stay healthy and put it all together, but back in 2016, he was actually coming off an incredible season, and the sky seemed like the limit. In 2015 he had 87 receptions for 952 yards and 11 touchdowns, despite even missing two games. In 2016 he had 66 receptions for 686 yards and 6 touchdowns, but was never really fantasy relevant again after that.

Thomas Rawls pick 39 by Paul. This was the first player drafted by anyone in our original draft that made me stop for a second and say, "Wait, who was that again?" I vaguely remember him being on the Seahawks, and actually found an old article talking about him as the next fantasy breakout star as he replaced Marshawn Lynch, but he never was able to really accomplish much at all in the NFL. He was dropped by Paul on October 4th of 2016, picked up by Radin on October 26th, where he remained the rest of the year, but then Radin cut him heading into the 2017 draft and he was never heard from in our league again. Not good for a 4th round pick.

Carlos Hyde pick 40 by John. Carlos Hyde was an absolute force at Ohio State, and while he did have some O.K. years for John, I had to include him because he just never lived up to the superstar potential we saw at Ohio State and there were players with much better careers taken after him here.

Eric Decker pick 41 by John. The very next pick in the draft, also by John, Eric Decker was coming off a 1,000 yard, 12 touchdown year. Still in his late 20s, it was safe to assume he could be a solid WR for several more years. Instead, he completely declined, with an injury in 2016, sealing his fate as a wasted draft pick. He would retire after the 2017 season, not producing much of anything for John.

Kelvin Benjamin pick 54 by Radin. We all know Benjamin is now a meme for how an NFL player's career can go wrong by deciding to be fat instead of a professional athlete, but we often forget that Benjamin actually showed a lot of promise and fantasy relevance coming off the first two years of his career. Unfortunately for Radin, he didn't get any of that production. Benjamin totaled just over 1,000 yards and four touchdowns over his final four years combined before retiring a total waste of talent.

Josh Gordon pick 67 by Radin. The final bust of our original draft was Josh Gordon taken a round after another young, tantalizing, but controversial receiver Radin had taken in Benjamin. Josh Gordon burst onto the scene in 2013 with 87 catches for 1,646 yards and 9 touchdowns. He was a pickup that won people championships that year and became a fantasy darling because of it. Even more than the stats, Flash Gordon just passed the eye test as the next great superstar NFL player. The only problem was the NFL was in the dark ages when it came to weed, and Josh Gordon wasn't willing to give weed up to make a lot of money and have a great NFL career. It's crazy to think that Gordon ended up being in the NFL for over a decade, recently being given what must be his 100th chance with the Titans in 2022. He never really did shit in our Dynasty league, despite being picked up by half the league at one point or the other.

Enough of busts, what about steals that stand out in our original draft? I came up with 9.

1. Tom Brady pick 70 by Turnage. While this may not be the greatest steal of the first dynasty draft, it still popped out of the screen at me. Tom Brady ended up being Turnage's QB1 for 7 years, and put up some fantastic fantasy seasons during this time. The rest of the league was probably avoiding him, assuming he would retire soon, but to get that kind of value for so many years at the very bottom of the 7th, absolutely qualifies as a steal for Turnage.

2. Travis Kelce pick 76 by Donny. How was a guy that would go on to break the TE position in fantasy football, and is still active on Alan's roster today as a bona-fide superstar, not taken until the 8th round? In 2014, and 2015 respectively, Kelce had close to 900 yards and 5 tds each season, so it's not like he wasn't already fantasy relevant. What else can I say except that we missed on this one as a league.

3. Tyler Lockett pick 90 by Turnage. Lockett can be a bit controversial when it comes to fantasy because some people hate his inconsistency at times and see him more as a boom-or-bust WR2 but honestly... looking at this draft and some of the players going at this point, who wouldn't have signed up for a long career of WR2 play? Tyler Lockett remains a strong player on Turnage's team today, although interestingly, he did briefly lose him. On November 13th 2016, Turnage dropped Lockett for Dontrelle Inman (yikes.) Lockett remained a free agent for the remainder of 2016 and was taken in the third round by Deron in the 2017 dynasty draft. Deron then dropped Lockett for some guy named Javorius Allen. Turnage picked Lockett back up on September 17th, 2017 where he has remained since.

4. Derrick Henry pick 95 by Cory. It's wild that such a fantasy stud like Henry was taken all the way in round 10 of his rookie season in our draft, but his story gets even wilder from there. He didn't stay on my team, and had quite the journey through our league, but that will be a story for another day when I do the "Wacky Waivers" article.

5. Dak Prescott pick 99 by Paul. To find a longtime QB1 quality player so deep in the draft in a two QB format is impressive to say the least. Love him or hate him, Prescott has been a good fantasy player since his very first game. Paul would later trade him to Cory, where he has been rostered since.

6. Stefon Diggs pick 102 by Paul. Just a few picks after Dak, Paul had another slam-dunk pick in Stefon Diggs. The only problem is he would go on to trade Diggs to Deron for Jerrick McKinnon later that season. Ouch. I'll talk about that trade and more in my trade evaluations article.

7. Zach Ertz pick 105 by Donny. Donny must have a good eye for tight ends, because this was a home run all the way in the 11th round. Ertz is still an active player in the NFL today.

8. Justin Tucker pick 118 by Joucken. I knew it was a kicker year! But seriously to find a likely hall of fame kicker in round 12 when you would start considering kickers in normal formats anyways, is well worth it. Tucker is still on David's team today as the NFL's top kicker most years.

9. Jared Goff pick 201 by John. You have to go all the way to the 21st round of the draft to find another pick that stood out as a steal, and it was a good one. While Goff hasn't always been a QB1 necessarily, he's been a good player for John for his whole career which should continue for many more years. I have to give Goff credit; a lot of people were calling him a bust early in his career, but there's no doubt now that he has established himself as a reliable real-life and fantasy QB.

We missed on several undrafted players from this season including DeVante Adams, Tyreek Hill (to be fair he was a 5th round rookie in 2016), and Adam Thielen.

Other notes: The first dynasty draft was 22 rounds. We would expand the rosters to 24 players, where we have been ever since in 2017. Of the original 220 draft picks, 14 were team defenses. This means 206 individual players were drafted. Of those 206, just 41 players remain active in the NFL, or just under 20% (19.9%) of our draft picks.

Of the 41 active players, 4 are kickers, 5 are defensive players, 13 are QBs (six of the QBs are now backup players) leaving just 19 skill position players. Of these 19, 6 are no longer fantasy relevant at all, 5 are draftable, but no longer must-starts, (OBJ, Zeke, Cooks, Ertz, Boyd) while 8 players can still be viewed as fantasy starters: WR Diggs, RB Henry, WR Lockett, TE Kelce, WR Amari Cooper, WR Evans, WR Allen, and WR Hopkins.

Only three RBs from the original draft are still active in the NFL: Zeke, Henry and Ameer Abdullah (so random he's still active)

Not counting team defense's, 9 players remain on the team that originally drafted them:

K Tucker on David's team

QB Aaron Rodgers on Radin's team

TE Travis Kelce on Alan's team

WR Tyler Lockett on Turnage's team

Qbs Kirk Cousins and Russell Wilson, and WR DeAndre Hopkins on Sarah's team

QB Jared Goff and WR Brandin Cooks on John's team

There are a couple of defenses still on their original team:

Denver on David's, and Pittsburgh on Turnage's

Overall, here are how many currently active players each of us drafted:

Cory: 8

Deron: 6

Sarah: 5

Paul: 4

Wilson: 4

Donny: 4

Turnage: 3

Joucken: 3

John: 2

Radin: 2

Final section, who the hell is he?

Jeremy Langford pick 71 by Turnage (sounds vaguely familiar)

Gary Barnage pick 104 by Deron (sounds like a TV attorney)

Omar Bolden pick 121 by John

Kamar Allen pick 143 by Joucken (doesn't even have a Wikipedia page lol)

Charles Sims pick 158 by Joucken

Clive Wafford pick 170 by Turnage

K Candler Catanzaro pick 215 by Cory

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thirteenfrogs · 11 months ago

Text

‘nosy’ — arsenal wfc

arsenal wfc x teen!reader

mostly leah williamson x teen!reader

loosely based off ‘matilda’ by harry styles

—

"so, who did you bring?”

leah's question is simple enough. she'd asked everyone, listening happily as they rattle off names like going through a register in school.

it makes your heart stop in your chest for a second, though, and you're sure she can tell.

you were positive the team had noticed by now, how you - their 16 year old teammate - seemed to never have someone in the family section cheering for you. the first time someone had asked about it, you'd listed a few half-assed excuses that ranged from traffic being too bad to a relative being in a whole different country.

but each and every game, the team were getting more and more concerned about you and your clear lack of a support system.

steph had caught you in a lie once, and since then they'd all been extra attentive when it came to the subject - keeping a close eye on anyone you interacted with in the stands and trying to gauge whether they were simply fans you were chatting to or your ever-elusive relatives.

leah, in particular, was the most concerned after the incident with steph and it seemed her nosiness had increased tenfold.

it was after an easy enough game, a 5-1 win at home, where it was raining heavily as you all exited the locker room with bags slung over your jacket-clad shoulders.

steph had been watching you carefully ever since you had been knocked down during the second half of the game, looking for any signs of pain or any indication of an injury. that meant she had noticed when you simply put your hood up and walked out of the car park in the direction of home looking like you weren't waiting on anybody.

"hey, kid." she calls out to you, a hand on your shoulder.

you turn and look up at her confused, blinking the raindrops from your eyelashes as she gives you a concerned look.

"you're walking in this?" she gestures around aimlessly, referring to the heavy rain and cold wind.

yes, you are walking in this, but you feel like that's not the right answer here.

"my mum's 'round the corner with the car." you lie easily, letting your lips pull into a smile. "i said i'd just walk and meet her." you shrug nonchalantly, hoping your teammate couldn't hear the sounds of your loud heartbeat over the hammering rain.

"i'll walk with you then." she nods, stepping forward, hand still on your shoulder.

you panic, your eyes widening slightly. "o-oh, you don't have to! mum's a bit far anyway, and i don't think she'll be happy if she knew i had the steph catley waiting on her in the rain. i'll text you when i'm home, yeah? see you tomorrow!"

steph frowns slightly, but can't do much as you're suddenly sprinting away down the road, puddles splashing up your legs as you run through them.

so she reluctantly gets in her car and begins the drive home, turning the heat on in hopes of drying herself off quickly. her head is swarming with concerns about you, and it definitely doesn’t get better when she drives past a small figure walking along the pavement.

it was you, still walking in the rain despite telling her you were meeting with your mum 15 minutes earlier.

she debates pulling up beside you and lecturing you sternly on the effects of being in the cold for too long, but it's almost as if you can sense someone's eyes on you because you quickly turn into a ginnel and continue your walk that way.

she tells the team about it later, wondering why you had lied about meeting up with your mum and they all find it odd that they had never met anyone in your family despite you insisting that they were 'just over there' or 'waiting outside.'

"kid?" leah pokes your cheek, causing you to snap out of your daze. "you away with the fairies again?" she laughs.

you smile weakly, shrugging. "guess so."

"it's a miracle you don't daydream on the pitch too." she continues teasing, "or do you?"

you hope this means she's forgotten about her question earlier, so you continue the conversation easily.

"i definitely daydream when you're giving your motivational speeches."

leah laughs again, pushing your shoulder. "you little shit."

you allow yourself to smile slightly and relax when she throws an arm around your shoulder, walking you towards locker room protectively as your self-proclaimed big sister.

"anyway, you didn't answer my question." curse your bad luck. "your first game in the emirates is a pretty big deal, so who did you bring?"

"i brought me." you say, wrinkling your nose when she scoffs. "what? i'm not good enough for you?" you tease, hoping to keep this as light-hearted as possible.

there's only about 2 minutes before you reached the locker room, and then you'd be free from this conversation. you just have to stick it out for 2 whole minutes.

" 'course you're good enough, kid." leah says quietly, looking down at you as you stare ahead. "i meant who's watching you today? who's stuck wearing a l/n jersey instead of an amazing williamson one?"

you roll your eyes, "i imagine lots of people are. i'm a pretty big deal, you know."

"yeah, yeah." leah huffs, "you're a little prodigy, we know."

"jealous, williamson?" you grin, speeding up your pace ever so slightly in the vain hope of getting the locker room and out of this mess quicker. "i'm sure if you keep practicing then you can be as good as me one day."

"you're a menace, kid, honestly." leah sighs, shaking her head fondly. "but, c'mon, i'm being serious now. is your mum here at least?"

you look at her briefly before looking ahead again. you were getting closer.

"why? does your mum not love you enough to come, so you're trying to steal mine instead?" it's a deflection, a very personal one at that considering you were the one with the parents who supposedly didn't love you enough to sit in a stadium for 90 minutes.

"i know what you're doing." you ignore her. "you're not escaping this."

"i think you'll find that's exactly what i'm doing." and with that, you duck under her arm and enter the locker room, immediately throwing yourself onto katie's back as she attempts to tuck in her shirt.

"oi!" katie laughs, catching herself against the locker. "you little shit, you almost gave me a concussion!"

"was just trying to knock some braincells into you before the match; we're not aiming for any yellows today, are we?"

leah simply watches in frustration as you and katie begin to wrestle, knocking alessia into vic, who falls into kyra, who ends up tumbling to the ground with a loud scream. your fun ends when kim breaks up your impromptu wwe match with stern words and her captain-glare that has katie insisting you should be grounded for provoking her. your eyes avoid leah's as you defend your honour fiercely, only for kim to start lecturing you sternly about locker room etiquette and potential injuries.

you still weren't escaping her questions, leah was sure. not even a 20-minute lecture from the captain would save you from leah’s nosiness.

fortunately for you, the rush of the game preparation and your insistence of pairing up with kyra for warm-ups saves you from any potential questions before the match.

but it doesn't mean you're safe forever.

—

the next opportunity to hound you about your family comes during half-time (not the best time, leah knows, but she's determined, stubborn, and above all concerned).

you’re walking off the pitch with lessi, her arm thrown over your shoulder as you chat to her happily about the goal you scored with her assist. the three aussies walk in-front of you, and your foot reaches up every now and then to kick at kyra, who always reacts instantly by insulting you and kicking her foot back at you. just when you’re about to kick the australian again, a hand catches your leg and you stumble from the unexpected contact. you look up and glare at leah.

“williamson! this is a goal-scoring foot, here, you better let go before jonas comes and chops your hand off.” you tug your leg back and leah lets it fall easily, but she grabs your arm in a way that tells you you’re not escaping.

alessia (the traitor she is) wastes no time in ditching you, mumbling something about a family squabble that she wanted no part in. you have half a mind to tell her that leah’s not your family she’s just some nosy rat who never leaves you alone, but you doubt that will help your case at this moment.

“so,” leah says casually as if she’s not holding you hostage, “we’re all bringing our families out for dinner after this and i need to know how many seats to reserve. so-“

“we’ve got plans already.” you lie quickly, “so none for me.”

“liar.”

“okay, rude.” you roll your eyes, ignoring the way that leah’s eyes are searching your face for answers like you were a cheat sheet for an exam. “i do have plans because people actually enjoy my company. can you say the same?”

you wait for leah to retort back something equally insulting or to maybe slap the back of your head for being so cheeky, but to your surprise she doesn’t do either of those things.

“why do you do that?” she asks softly instead, staring at you with a sad look in her eye.

“do what?” you ask defensively.

“deflect. you always distract us by being a little shit so we don’t ask questions you’re too uncomfortable answering. like where is your family right now?”

“when did you get your psychology degree?” you grumble, rolling your eyes.

“see, you just did it again!”

luckily, your saving grace comes in the form of lotte, who approaches you both quickly. “jonas said stop squabbling and hurry up. we’ve only got 10 minutes left.” she grabs your arm - the one leah’s not holding captive - and drags you into the locker room so you could actually listen to your coach and not get told off (again).

if you thought that would be the end of it, though, you’re sorely mistaken.

leah stands beside you in the locker room (and follows you when you switch spaces with caitlin, and then again when you move to stand by viv) and spends the rest of half-time trying to pry for more information.

“what does your mum look like then? i’ll keep an eye out for her.” “how many siblings do you have? are they all here too?” “there was a guy with a huge y/n l/n sign, is he your dad or something?”

the questions are never-ending (even when you start round 2 of wrestling with katie which results in you being grounded by kim and subsequently benched for next weekend's game), and you’re grateful when you’re finally ushered back onto the pitch for the second half. you felt the urge to play better this half, not only to keep up the ‘second-halfsenal’ nickname that you found hilarious, but also to spite your family who decided that staying at home and doing nothing was important than watching you play in the stadium you grew up admiring.

and so, when the whistle blows, your face shows nothing but determination and your mind is solely focused on the ball and nothing else.

definitely not the family section which is loud with shouts of encouragement and love from your teammates’ family members.

definitely not that.

—

you winning player of the match surprises no-one, and you’re happy to be carted off to some interviewer to talk about it if it means that you’ll have more time to avoid a certain blonde defender and her unwanted game of 20 questions.

“so, today was your first ever game at the famous emirates stadium and arsenal pulled off an incredible 7-2 win, with you scoring 4 of those goals and winning potm only 16 years of age! how do you feel?”

a microphone is shoved into your hand and you allow a smile to grace your lips easily, “i’d say i’m feeling pretty alright, yeah. i’m really proud of the team and i’m so grateful for the opportunity to play here. i mean, it’s the emirates, and as a gunner it’s definitely a dream come true, so yeah i’m feeling pretty good right now.”

“your performance during the second half was phenomenal, i mean, a hat-trick and an assist in less than 40 minutes? that locker room pep-talk must’ve been something special.” the interviewer jokes, and you grin.

“i mean, jonas and kim definitely have a way with words but between you and me, i was just trying to get back on kimmy’s good side; apparently wrestling in the locker room is frowned upon and results in getting lectured and grounded.” you roll your eyes fondly, and the interviewer laughs.

“so, you’re saying the way to motivate you is to just tell you off? you might get into trouble before every game now.” she teases.

“what can i say? i’m fuelled by spite.” you shrug with a smile before going a bit serious, “but i just wanted to make the team proud and especially after mucking about, i felt like i had to prove myself again so i just really put my head in the game and this the result.” you hold up the player of the match trophy you’d been given. “it’s quite nice, actually.”

“well, that’s all we have time for so we’ll let you go celebrate now. i’m sure your family are ready to spoil you rotten and you definitely deserve it.”

you chuckle awkwardly, “ah, thank you but i’m probably just going to have a nap after this. 90 minutes is no joke, it really takes it outta you.” you wipe sweat from your forehead jokingly. “who knew football was so tiring?”

“well, you deserve that rest. thank you for your time and congratulations on your performance today.”

you smile and say thanks and before you even have the chance to walk away, a body jumps on your back causing you to fall onto the ground with a groan.

“jesus christ, kyra! what do you eat?” you groan, shoving her off you. “you almost squished me.” she stands and pulls you up to your feet and you grin, “you shouldn’t try to kill the player of the match, you know. makes you look jealous.” you wave the trophy in her face and she scoffs.

“as if i’d be jealous of you. leah’s had a face like a slapped arse all day and i’m betting you’re the reason why. i would not want to be in your position right now.” she throws an arm over your shoulder and you allow her to steer you into a lap around the pitch.

“ugh, don’t remind me.” you groan. “you’d think she birthed me herself with the way she mothers me.”

“mothers? more like smothers.” kyra teases, and you groan again. “seriously, dude, what did you do to her?”

“nothing! that’s the whole point, i didn’t do anything and she’s pissed off. i swear if i didn't love her so much i'd have murdered her by now.”

as if you’d chanted her name 3 times in the mirror, leah appears before you like some victorian-era ghoul. “who are you talking about?”

you physically hold back a scream of fear when you see her, and kyra bursts out laughing beside you.

“i’m guessing it’s me then.” leah rolls her eyes, and you and kyra take about a minute to recuperate yourselves. “anyway, do you mind if i steal y/n from you for a minute?”

kyra, to her credit, attempts to save you. “well, actually-“

“i wasn’t asking.” leah’s hand is on your arm before you know it and kyra is left in the dust as she drags you away. leah continues walking you around the pitch, and when you pass the family section, she turns to you expectantly. “so…”

“are we really doing this again?” you groan. "can't you just celebrate my trophy and let me go?"

“no, and this time you can’t escape.”

you look around and notice that everyone else is, conveniently, much further away from you two than before.

still, you’re stubborn.

“i could still escape.” you nod firmly, “if i concentrate hard enough, i could probably burst an aneurysm right here.”

“please don’t.” leah sighs deeply. "look, kid..."

you know you're in for either (another) lecture or an annoying attempt to get you to open up and you feel like you're going to cry. why couldn't she just leave it alone? you were doing perfectly fine forgetting about your problems and now leah was bringing them all up again and reigniting the feelings of hurt and frustration you had been pushing down for months. it wasn't fair. why can't she just leave it alone?

"i'll answer your questions." you say, and she stops herself from going on a (presumably) long rant. "just promise to leave me alone about it after this?"

this is the only way to get her off your back and you're willing to sacrifice 5 minutes of your dignity if it means a lifetime of peace with no prying.

"okay," she nods and quickly hits you with the first question. "where are your parents?"

"at home probably."

"okay." she thinks for a moment. "is anyone else here for you?"

you want to joke that the whole stadium is here for you, but you refrain. "no. it's just me, like i said."

"has anyone in your family attended any other games?"

if you tell the truth now, you're admitting that you lied countless times before about your family being there. still, you just want to get this over with.

"по."

her face falls a bit, and you wince in regret.

"you're not, like, an orphan or something are you?" leah asks quickly, looking at you like you had just run over her puppy with a tractor.

"no, you weirdo. i have parents, they just…they're not football fans." it's not a lie, but it's definitely not the truth either.

"that's a lie. i've seen pictures of you in an arsenal kit as a baby." she dismisses your words easily, and you roll your eyes.

"okay, stalker, they just don't like women's football."

"also a lie. you said once that your mum's favourite player was sam kerr."

"my god, do you keep a notebook of things i say? how do you remember that?"

"i remember being offended about it." she shrugs, "i should be her favourite, for sure. i'm just so smart, beautiful, talented...i could go on but we'd be here forever."

"humble, too." you roll your eyes.

"exactly.” she smiles slightly, and you take a moment to remember that this is leah you're talking to. leah. she isn't a stranger, she's practically your second mum. would it be so hard to just open up a little?

you sigh, and leah gets the hint that you want to say something but you're holding back.

"look, kid, we all love you so much. you're the team baby and we just want to keep you safe and protect you from everything that could hurt you, even if that means protecting you from yourself" you frown slightly, "you don't need to have all these walls built up around you and you don't have to lie to us. we're here for you. we're your family."

"that's the problem." you sigh, "you guys are my family now and if i know anything about family it's that they let you down." leah wraps an arm around your shoulder and encourages you to keep talking. "my parents didn't want kids, and they certainly didn't want me. i can be a lot sometimes and i was worse when i was a kid. i had so much energy and no outlet for it and i was just miserable all the time. i was acting out at home, i was acting out in school and i just wanted some attention. it's why they put me into football - to sort me out without actually having to parent me or spend any time with me."

leah listens intently, subconsciously bringing you closer to her with each word you say. she tucks you under her arm as if to shield you from the world outside of your little bubble.

"and you can guess how that went. i was good at football and before you know it, here i am. i know i should be happier about being here, and i'm definitely grateful but... i just thought that making the team would make them proud. i thought they'd finally want to be a part of my life instead of just being...well, them." you shrug sadly, "they haven't come to a single game since that time i was 7 and they were forced to because no other parent could drive me home afterwards. even then, they didn't even watch the game and i got told off at home for making them miss work to be there. i scored the winning goal and they didn't even mention it. they've made it clear hundreds of times that im not a priority for them, and i'm nothing more than a financial and mental burden. they're never at my games because, frankly, they're never anywhere i am. it's how it's always been and i guess i never expected you guys to make it a big deal, because to me it's not."

it's quiet for a moment after your verbal-vomit and you feel the urge to run away, but leah's arm is tight around you and her eyebrows are furrowed in the way they always are when she's losing at monopoly.

"fuck, kid, i'm sorry. I'm so sorry. that's not fair, that's not how it should it be. i don't even know what to say because i'm just...i'm shocked. you didn't deserve that then and you definitely don't deserve it now." she talks so fiercely and so surely, and you blink away the tears forming in your eyes. "you are where you are in spite of them, not because of them, and they have no right to ever make you feel like less than what you are. and what you are is a damn good player, one of the best in the world at only 16. they should be proud, and i'm so fucking sorry that they're not." leah presses a kiss to your head as you bury yourself futher into her side. "but i am. we're all so unbelievably proud of you, y/n. the whole team is so in awe of you as a player that we forget sometimes that you're just a kid, and i think you forget that too. you're 16, and i know you've made it this far on your own, but it doesn't have to stay that way. you don't have to be alone anymore, and you have a family right here that will always love you. we're here, kid. you've got us forever."

you've given up holding your tears in at this point, and you move to stand in-front of leah properly. you don't have to say anything, because she knows.

she pulls you in for a hug, and you bury your face into her to hide your cries.

you forget that you're still in the middle of the emirates, where fans are still celebrating your win, and you feel overwhelmed with love.

why are you crying over people who have never spared a second thought on you instead of celebrating the fact that you just played at a sold-out emirates with the only people in the world you consider to be your real family? you don't know why, but you know that these will be the last tears you shed for them. because now you have the team. the team who have now caught up to you and leah and surround you both in a group hug that makes you cry even more.

"we've got you, kid." leah murmurs into your hair, and you allow yourself to just let it all go.

you let go of the frustrations, you let go of the sadness, and most of all you let go of the feelings of being unwanted and just allow yourself to feel the warm embrace. you feel someone pat your head, you feel hands rubbing your back, and you know for a fact that the hand tapping your bum is kyra's. you'll be sure to get her back later, but for now you're okay right where you are.

with your family.

—

lowkey cringe but i accidentally deleted all my estrella drafts so you’ll have to make do with this atrocity😖

#woso imagine #woso x reader #arsenal wfc x reader #arsenal x reader #teen!reader #leah williamson x reader

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